A Freshman’s Guide to Surviving High School

For all of you freshmen new to the high school experience, you may have a variety of feelings towards the new school year. You may be feeling nervous or excited or may not even know how to feel. I’m hoping to give you some tips that will help you get excited for the next four years of your life and I promise you, if you follow these tips, you’ll have a great high school experience.

DON’T:

1. Don’t do your homework. Why bother to do your homework? It’s not like your GPA matters. Yeah, your parents might get a little mad and your teachers will probably get frustrated, but…

IMG_10642. Don’t make friends. Why do you need friends? Do you really need people to talk to in the hallway or someone to sit with at lunch?

3. Don’t participate in class. Participating in class is just another way for you to embarrass yourself. You’ll probably lose a few participation points but that’s all right. Despite what your teachers say, you will never need to share your opinion or speak in front of a group in real life.

IMG_03054. Don’t be organized. Taking the time organize your locker and your notebooks and whatever else is simply a waste of time. You’ll most likely lose important papers and never have anything you need but that’s okay, too.

5. Don’t study. It’ll be fine when you don’t know the answers on the tests. You’ll fail your tests resulting in a failed class, but those classes and tests will be WAY easier to pass the next time you have to take the class.

DO:

IMG_00151. Speak up whenever you want in class. If you don’t like something the teacher said, make sure you tell them that. You won’t get in any trouble at all, believe me. I mean, you might get sent to the office, or have an I.S.S. or get grounded for a few weeks, but more importantly, you’re standing your ground! You always know best, and you’ve never been wrong before.

2. Show up late to class. If you’ve got somewhere to be, don’t worry about your prior commitment to attend class! You can always show up late and miss half of the instruction for the day. If you do have to show up late to class, I suggest using this excuse: “I got lost in this huge building. I’m a freshman! It’s not like I’ve been in this building for two years before!” Works every time.

IMG_00183. Break dress code. If you get dress coded, you’ll get to spend some quality time with a teacher and other delinquent students in a lunch detention!

4. Start drama. If you ever get bored, think of something you can do to stir up trouble. Make up some rumor and then make sure everyone knows about. Tell your best friend’s dad’s sister’s niece’s dog. Make sure the whole world knows about it; it will make you feel really good about yourself and you’ll probably make some great friends.

I have given you a few things to do and not do in high school. I don’t know much, but I do know the perfect way to survive high school. Just follow the tips above if you want to survive high school without any success or a promise of a successful future. Trust me, this works.

If you choose to follow this advice, expect an interminable, uneventful, and troublesome high school experience!

Article submitted by: Satirist, Emily Day

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